Nine Best Gay Sex Positions for Men

How do gay men have sex?

Bodies come in all shapes and sizes; what feels good for one guy won’t necessarily feel good for another. However, it helps to have a mental rolodex of ways to pleasure a guy.

Suck each other off, masturbate together, tease each other’s butts – if you’re into guys, have sex in any consensual way that feels good. Going to the loo and washing well beforehand will help you focus on pleasure no matter where the vibe takes you. You could use an anal douche if you’d prefer, though it’s not essential.

Here are some common ways gay men have sex:

• Mutual masturbation. Want to show each other how you like to be touched? Watch each other masturbate! It's the ideal place to start if you’re a little nervous.
• Frotting. Rub your erect dick against your partner’s and revel in the sight of every twitch and throb.
• Fellatio. Use your mouth to lick and suck your partner’s penis. This is typically called a “blowjob” – though you want to suck, not blow.
• Analingus. Lick your partner’s bumhole (or ask him to lick yours) because it feels oh-so-good. It’s also known as “rimming” and can be made delightfully delicious by squeezing on some flavoured lube.
• Anal fingering. Lube up your partner’s anus and your finger. Try teasing their bumhole by stroking or encircling it before sliding your finger in and out (but don’t shake it all about). It’s best to start here before you try anal sex with a penis or large dildo (you need to train that butt before you take anything too big).
• Anal sex. If you’re the one penetrating your partner’s bum with your penis, you’re the “top”. If you’re the one being penetrated, you’re the “bottom”. But you’re allowed to like both! Read our guide about how to do anal, then slather on that anal lube and go slowly.

What’s the best gay sex position for your first time?

Having sex with someone new can feel a little daunting. Try these sex positions for an unforgettable first time with a guy.

Does he lean in close to you for a passionate kiss or do his eyes roam your body? See him watching you, discovering what turns you on as well.

Masturbating with a partner (also known as mutual masturbation) isn’t too dissimilar from masturbating alone. You’re both pleasuring your penises but with a great view!

For super satisfying masturbation, Psychologist Dr Justin Lehmiller suggests taking a little time to relax and get in the mood. While it can be tempting to go in hot and get straight to the point with your man, take it slow.

“You don’t have to go right to genital stimulation,” says Justin, who also hosts the Sex and Psychology Podcast. “You can begin by touching or stroking other parts of your body first and paying attention to the sensations.” For example, if you like ball play, show your partner by teasing your testicles before you start jerking off. Get more masturbation tips from Dr Lehmiller in our guide on how to masturbate (for men).

When you both feel comfortable together, you can whisper sweet nothings to your partner, gaze into their eyes or reach across and give them a helping hand.

Spice it up: Wear something you both feel sexy in and start touching your dicks through your clothes. Remove your clothing piece by piece, maintaining eye contact. Feel your heart race and your pulse quicken as you picture what’s coming next…

The top can bring his body lower, closer to his partner, or take more of his weight by leaning on his hands on either side of his partner’s body.

Why it feels good: Missionary allows for constant face-to-face connection and eye contact. You’ll feel emotionally connected and can also communicate what feels good (and what doesn’t).

While the top has more control over the depth and angle of penetration, in Missionary, the bottom’s sphincter muscles will be more relaxed (making anal sex feel more pleasurable) than in a receiver-on-top position.

Missionary is also the best position for prostate stimulation which will help you focus on what feels good. Also known as the P-spot, the prostate is a small gland about 2 inches inside the rectum of people AMAB*. Stimulating the P-spot can lead some men to full-body orgasms. Yes, please!

If gentle grinding is (or sounds like) your thing, you’ll enjoy this cuddly position. Both rotate and rock your hips back and forth to stimulate all those sensational nerve endings in the bottom’s anus.

Spice it up: For deep penetration, the bottom could lift his legs over the top’s shoulders or pull his knees closer to his body. The bottom could also reach around to the top’s bum and tease it with a finger – or use a male masturbator on himself for simultaneous cock and anal stimulation.

*Assigned male at birth

More sex positions for gay guys

Whether you’re a seasoned gay looking for more position inspo or a baby gay keen to discover other ways men have sex, you might enjoy these hot and steamy anal penetration positions. Pick your favourite, show your man, and get ready for a wild night in.

An easier variation would be for the receiver to kneel on either side of his partner, rather than squatting.

Why it feels good: The Reverse Cowboy position gives the person lying down a great rear-ended view. Is there anything sexier than seeing your lover ride you up and down and back and forth?! No, there is not.

From here, the giver can massage (or spank) his partner’s arse or reach around to jerk him off. While on top, the receiver can stimulate his partner’s prostate. Prostate massagers are fantastic for this; just grab the lube and make sure you check your top is happy to have a toy in his bum before ploughing ahead.

Spice it up: If you’re the rider, you can reach down to tease your partner’s anus with a well-lubed finger or use anal beads for graduating levels of fullness. If you’re laying back penetrating your partner, you can reach around and use a blow job toy on his cock for intense, dual stimulation.

For a more challenging variation, the bottom can lift his knees to take the weight on his hands and feet.

Why it feels good: While Doggy won’t directly stimulate the bottom’s P-spot (as penises tend to curve upwards when erect, making contact with the tailbone in this position), the indirect pressure will still feel good.

Couple anal pleasure with a handjob and you’re set for some seriously heady sex. The penetrating partner can jerk off his partner’s cock or, with a bit of balance, the receiving partner can masturbate himself.

Spice it up: In this position, you’re not limited to penetrative sex! The top can pull out, and transition into rimming their partner while simultaneously reaching around to wank them off. This is sometimes called “playing the rusty trombone”. Lovely.

Both like it a bit harder? The top can hold onto his partner’s waist and drive his penis deeper inside his partner – or hold his shoulders for a different angle.

Why it feels good: This is particularly enjoyable for people who like to lead the pace of their analingus. As the receiver, you’re in complete control to lift, lower or thrust your bum onto your partner’s face.

The person on top also has completely free access to his dick and an exquisite view of his partner’s. The seated partner could masturbate as well, but this’ll require some impressive core muscles.

Spice it up: To lean further into the submissive nature of this position, the receiver can plant gentle thwacks from a riding crop to their partner’s body. Just remember to make sure BDSM play is fully consensual and discuss a safeword or action before you start.

Why it feels good: Does the top in your relationship sometimes like to bottom? In Love Train, he can give and receive at the same time. This is also a great position for exploring roles and engaging in a little fantasy role-play.

This position won’t be one for rapid thrusting, unless you’ve both got an impressive sense of rhythm! To avoid getting frustrated, the top should lead, slowly pushing their hips back and forth while focusing on the incredible dual stimulation.

Spice it up: The person at the front of the train – the train driver, if you like – could use a Fleshlight for simultaneous stimulation. Or try nipple suckers to titillate another erogenous zone as you ride along.

The bottom can stick their bum out or tuck it in and the top can tilt their hips back and forth. Experiment to find an angle that feels good.

To make this position easier, the bottom can lean forward against something, or you can spoon on the bed. The receiving partner can spread their bum cheeks for even easier access.

Why it feels good: Standing or spooning, this position can be sensual and intimate. Enjoy kissing your partner’s neck and lips – or embrace or caress each other’s bodies.

If there’s a big height discrepancy between you and your partner, spooning on the bed can make it easier to align your bodies. If you’re eager to try this standing position; the shorter partner can stand on a step or stool.

Spice it up: With your bodies pressed closely together, the top has fantastic access to the bottom’s cock. But if you both like the idea of dual stimulation, the top can try a butt plug. There are lots of ways to use a butt plug – in this position the penetrating partner could try a remote-controlled vibrating plug and pass the control to the bottom.

It also leaves room for some delightful touching. While the bottom having their legs over their head requires flexibility, it makes for direct anal entry and P-spot stimulation.

Bear in mind it’s quite a dominant position. The top has complete control over the depth and angle of penetration, so baby gays might want to try other positions first.

Spice it up: Restraining the bottom’s ankles will not only make this position a bit easier, but it will also make it super sexy for those who enjoy exploring power dynamics. The bottom’s hands could also be restrained with handcuffs or wrist restraints for greater control and dominance.

Then, the receiving partner leans back so they’re lying flat – for support and leverage, clasp hands.

Why it feels good: There’s easy access to the bottom’s penis and your hands are free to caress each other’s legs or feet. Avoid neckache when admiring the view by propping yourself on a pillow.

Spice it up: The penetrating partner could wear a vibrating bullet cock ring to simultaneously pleasure his guy’s perineum for external pressure on his P-spot. Or lightly tug on chained nipple clamps for a kinky Starfish.