Nine Sex Positions for Gay Women to Try Tonight

Myths about lesbian sex positions – and the facts

Think sex positions for gay women are all about scissoring and strap-ons? That’s what probably porn would have you believe. But there are so many more hot, interesting ways to have sex with another woman.

Here are a bunch of myths you might have heard about lesbian sex:

• Myth: Scissoring is the only lesbian sex position

• Fact: Scissoring (the act of rubbing your vulvas together – also known as tribbing) is just one of the myriad ways to enjoy sex as a lesbian.

Many people do enjoy the feeling of rubbing their vulvas against another vulva, but it’s not for everyone. Oral, manual and using strap-ons are all valid, common and pleasurable forms of lesbian sex, and using sex toys with your partner feels fantastic.

Speaking of strap-ons…

• Myth: To have lesbian sex, you need a strap-on

• Fact: Lesbian sex can be great fun even without a strap-on.

For some people, the feeling of a strap-on (a dildo that’s literally strapped onto one partner for hands-free penetration) enhances their pleasure. For others, it’s a “no thank you” to any kind of penetration or toy that resembles a penis.

There are so many ways to penetrate a vagina consensually during sex – fingers, a tongue, non-realistic dildos – and sex without penetration is still sex. To learn more about how to use a strap-on, check out this guide.

• Myth: During sex, one lesbian assumes the role of “the man”

• Fact: You don’t have to adopt the role of another gender during sex, and you don’t have to focus on penetration. Be yourself (unless you fancy a bit of role-play…)

There’s an outdated idea that men are more dominant in heterosexual couples – and that gay couples need to replicate this dynamic.

You might find that you or your partner is naturally more dominant... or not. Even if you enjoy penetration during sex, neither of you has to assume a masculine role in or out of the bedroom.

You might like experimenting with dominance and submission, but you can always switch roles. There are no rules about who does what. Just be sure to discuss a safe word and have a cuddle and a chat about it afterwards (known as “aftercare”).

• Myth: All lesbian sex involves two vulvas

• Fact: A lesbian couple might have one or more trans women in it.

Cis women make up only a proportion of lesbian couples; many trans women find other women (trans or cis) sexually attractive and consider themselves lesbians.

A quick note: The lesbian sex positions we’ve outlined below will focus on sex between women with vulvas but most of the positions can be adapted to suit different anatomy. Clear your diary, turn your sexy playlist on, and settle in for a fun night.

Best sex positions for gay women to try out

Whether you’re new to lesbian sex or finding your sex position repertoire a bit meh, we’ve collated some sexy positions to try out (tonight, if you like!). Ranging from romantic to a bit kinkier, some are simple while some require a little more thought. One things for sure: there’s a position here for everyone.

Better yet, your hands are free to roam. The person lying down can reach around her partner’s waist to manually stimulate her clit, caress her partner’s boobs or wherever’s pleasurable on her body.

If you like a bit of anal sex, this position makes for easy access to insert a well-lubed finger or toy. The person on top can reach around to massage her partner’s boobs or reach down to tease her partner’s perineum or bum.

Spice it up with a toy: The person on her back can hold a vibrator against her partner’s bum or insert a vibrating butt plug (if this is something you’ve talked about). She could also wear a strap-on for a jaunty, supine doggy-style shag. Feels good? Try the pretzel sex position for a similar position with a twist. And either or both of you could use nipple suckers to add a new sensation to this fun ride.

When we cuddle a loved one, our brains release oxytocin – an important hormone for human bonding. The person behind can wrap her arms around her partner, kiss her neck, talk dirty in her ear or caress her body, and you both have easy access to the little spoon’s vulva.

Spice it up with a toy: If penetration’s your thing, the big spoon can wear a strap-on to penetrate the little spoon vaginally or anally. Try a strap-on harness and insert a curved dildo for vaginal penetration that hits the G-spot or a smaller dildo for anal play.

To make strap-on sex even more fun, pop a bullet vibrator into the harness. Strap-ons not for you? Reach around and insert a dildo. Lying on your sides can restrict your arm movement, so a hands-free G-spot and clitoral suction toy can work wonders here, freeing up the arms to touch each other all over.

From this position, your partner can relish licking, sucking, and kissing you in all the best places. You can also enjoy your partner fingering your vagina or bum simultaneously. All fingers and thumbs? Only in the best way…

Spice it up with a toy: Bottoms up! Ready for a spanking (try a riding crop), a vibrating butt plug or anal beads? With her nether regions fully exposed, you can tease and titillate her any way you both desire.

Why it feels good: This wet and wild setup puts the receiver in a position of power, as she sits directly above her partner’s face. In this position, she can rock her hips back and forth to feel her partner’s mouth and tongue exactly where she wants to. Quench delivers an irresistible combination of sensation overload and exploration of power roles.

If you’re on top, lean back and play with your partner’s vulva or boobs to show how much you’re enjoying yourself. If you’re on the bottom, this position allows you to massage your lover’s bum cheeks or insert a well-lubed finger into her bum hole.

Spice it up with a toy: When you limit one of your senses, it can heighten the others. So see whether being blindfolded makes this face-sitting position more pleasurable for either of you. The giver could also wear a small finger vibrator to enhance their oral skills. Strapping the giver into an under-mattress harness will make this position feel even more submissive for her. Let the receiver ride her way to a super wet climax.

Why it feels good: The seated partner can stimulate her partner’s clitoris with her mouth and use a toy to massage her G-spot for mind-blowing, blended orgasms. Or she can masturbate herself and (with some clever timing) give simultaneous orgasms to you both. If you’ve got a dildo (or your fingers) to hand, this position also allows direct and firm G-spot stimulation – two ingredients needed to make a woman squirt.

If power play is your thing, The Worshipper lesbian sex position will be right up your street. The standing partner can thrust her vulva against her partner’s mouth to control the speed and depth. Or switch the power dynamics: the seated partner can hold her lover’s hands behind her back so she surrenders to her adoration.

Spice it up with a toy: By adding a clitoral suction toy into the mix, the giver doesn’t have to miss out. Hold it in position with one hand and let the other one sensually caress your partner’s thighs. Shower your goddess with more pleasure by using your best vibrator on her, or try a butt plug if you’re both keen.

Secondly, but far more excitingly: This position is amazing if you and your partner love giving and receiving oral sex. Take your time to alternate between sucking and licking your lover’s labia as well as her clitoris. Your hands are also free to caress each other’s legs, manually stimulate each other’s vulvas, or use a toy on one another.

Spice it up with a toy: If either or both of you enjoy the feeling of penetration alongside oral stimulation, get out your favourite G-spot toy. Resting your head on a pillow or wedge should limit neckache and help you make the most of this sublime, sideways position.

Grinding your vulvas together means constant contact for your clit, while you can vary the pressure and speed. When you and your girl are tribbing face-to-face, it can feel deeply intimate and erotic. Relish this moment – whether you’re maintaining eye contact, embracing, kissing or simply enjoying the view. If you have the core strength, you can use your hands to touch each other’s bodies whilst trying not to topple backwards.

Spice it up with a toy: As your vulvas are pressed together, one toy can satisfy you both. Vibrators with a large surface area (oh, how sexy) can work wonders here – think wands and love eggs. It’s also a good position to try a double-ended dildo, just remember to apply plenty of lube.

Why it feels good: Of course, strap-on queens will get plenty of enjoyment out of this classic position. But the partner on all fours can also receiver oral stimulation of her vulva, perineum or arse, or be teased by a toy. And let’s not forget the boobs, which can be easily fondled from behind.

With her hips tilted and her bum raised, the partner on all fours opens herself up for all kinds of creative pleasure. Or, to switch up the dynamics, the other partner can also get hers by rubbing her vulva and clit on the kneeling partner’s tailbone.

Spice it up with a toy: When a bum looks this good, a spanking might be around the corner. Doggy Style can be a fun way to explore power dynamics consensually by using a paddle or a flogger or trying out some hair tugging for some BDSM bonding.

To keep it sweetly vanilla, the person behind can reach around and hold a clitoral suction toy against her lover’s clit or tease her with a tickler. Or try this strapless strap-on dildo vibrator for “a whole new level of intimacy and connection compared to traditional strap-ons,” according to one user.

The hanging partner’s vulva is fully on display for her partner to pleasure how she wishes…

Why it feels good: This one always looks more challenging than it is and opens the door to incredible mid-air play with minimal physical effort. The person strapped to the door has her knees raised slightly above her hips and ankles (secured by adjustable straps) providing sensational G-spot stimulation. The giver can thrust slowly or quickly depending on your shared desires and mood – or forgo the strap-on for suspended oral sex.

Spice it up with a toy: For this position, you need a sex swing (and if you find penetration pleasurable, a strap-on). Otherwise, take your pick: a blindfold will heighten the sensations for the partner swinging from the door, nipple clamps pinch the nipples which some people find erotic, and a pinwheel will make your tingle all your nerve endings.

Expert tips for your first time with another woman

Whether you’re nervous or excited about your first time with another woman – or a bit of both – following these expert tips will help you feel prepared and relaxed to explore your sexuality.

• Cut your nails and wash your hands: Your nails may look glam but scratches inside a vagina aren’t pleasant. Hygiene is always important whether you’re using a toy (here’s how to clean sex toys) or your fingers.

• Get into a calm, sexy mood: Robyn Exton, founder of the lesbian dating app HER suggests, “Take a bubble bath, move your body to some sexy tunes and wear whatever makes you feel ravishing.”

• Be honest: If it’s your first time, let your partner know. She’ll likely be understanding and provide a little more guidance on pleasuring her.

• Talk about safe sex: There’s more to safe sex than preventing pregnancy. Internal condoms can be kept in throughout sex, condoms on sex toys should be changed when using the toy on the other person, latex gloves can be used for manual stimulation and dental dams are an option for oral sex.

• Ask questions – no two vulvas are the same: It’s okay (and encouraged!) to ask your partner what they enjoy and what feels good. Just because you have a vulva doesn’t mean you’re expected to know what to do with all vulvas – and what feels good for you might not feel good for her.

• Use lube (yes, even if you don’t do penetration): Lube really does make everything better.

• Try mutual masturbation: This can be a really intimate experience for you both to learn what you like. Watch how she touches herself and try to emulate these strokes when it’s your turn to touch her.

• Don’t focus on climaxing: “The goal is pleasure, not orgasm,” says Lovehoney’s resident Sex Expert, Annabelle Knight. “Go slowly, experiment with different strokes and pressure, ask what she likes and do more of it."