Oral Sex Tips: How to Give Head They’ll Never Forget

Oral sex tips to know before you start

Before you dive down under, we’ve got a few general tips that’ll be useful to keep in mind:

• Use a condom or dental dam with a new partner. STDs can be transferred through oral sex, so use protection until you’ve both been tested.
• Everyone has a taste or smell. Don’t make your partner feel uncomfortable about theirs (but do feel comfortable asking that you both wash first).
• Take breaks if you get jaw ache. You can always switch to a toy to keep things going. Or…
• Blend oral with a hand job. Oral sex gets even better when you bring in your hands to help. Use your fingers to follow and intensify your tongue’s movements, for example, or to stroke the shaft or lips while your mouth focuses on teasing the tip or clit.
• Is your partner feeling shy? To take the pressure off, try pleasuring yourself at the same time. Grab a bullet vibe and trace your labia, shaft or balls, slowly turning yourself on while they watch. Then, once you’re both feeling hot, offer to use the vibe to tease them too.
• Try holding eye contact. Looking your partner in the eye as you give them head communicates a sexy confidence.
• Let them know you’re having fun. If moaning feels natural, go for it. Show that you’re enjoying pleasuring your lover by doing what feels right to you. If you prefer to use body language, use your hands to stroke your lover’s thighs and stomach to communicate how into this you are.
• Learn on the job. You’ll get more skilled the more you practice, but every body is different. Stay open to exploring what works best for each person, and…
• Encourage constructive feedback. Only they know what feels amazing to them – so ask them to school you in the art of bringing them to climax. Think of it as a kind of dirty talk; it’s also a new way to get to know each other, and to bring you closer as partners.

Those are the headlines when it comes to oral sex, but there’s more juicy detail down below. So, if you’re looking to surprise your lover with some hot new foreplay skills – or if you’re just looking for sex tips that’ll up your game in general – we’ve got you. Read on…

How to give oral sex to a vulva

Follow this step-by-step guide to giving next-level cunnilingus.

1. Tease all around the vulva

People with vulvas usually take a while to warm up to any kind of sex – so, enjoy building anticipation to help turn them on.

This will stimulate their nerve endings, so they’ll start to feel aroused before you’ve even touched their genitals.

"Variety, multiple simultaneous types of stimulation, and pressure are important!” says a team member here at Lovehoney. Once you’re ready to move onto the vulva, “run your thumbs along the labia before spreading them so you can focus on the most sensitive bits.”

2. Lick upwards

Focus on the vulva’s inner and outer lips first; clitoral stimulation comes later. Use the tip of your tongue to create firm, focused pressure as you lick upwards, across the vaginal opening and up through the centre of the labia. Occasionally flick your tongue from side to side to tease the outer lips.

3. Find the clit

Once you’ve got your lover moaning and you can feel them getting wet (or even wetter!), it’s time to get the clitoris involved.

Check out the diagram above for guidance on where you’ll find it; it’s a pea-sized ‘button’ that sits at the top of the vulva, and is tucked under a little hood of skin.* This hood usually retracts as the clitoris swells and becomes more defined when your lover becomes aroused.

* Well, sort of. That’s the part of the clitoris you can see. The rest is deeper inside the vagina, which is why a combination of internal and external stimulation can feel so good.

"When you’re back at the clitoris, gently suck on it and use your tongue to tease it too.”

The Lovehoney team agrees: “Run your tongue or finger from clit to vagina, teasing the opening before sucking on the clit and adding two fingers inside. Now go find that G-spot!" (More on the G-spot later…)

Expert advice: The clit can feel very sensitive to touch, especially if your lover isn’t quite warmed up yet. That’s why it’s a good idea to work around it first, building anticipation. If your lover still finds direct clit stimulation too intense, see if they enjoy it when you rub around their clitoral hood instead.

4. Use your fingers

To give head that’s truly 10/10, we recommend getting handsy. Using your fingers works so well as part of oral sex for many reasons: you can create different types of pressure and massage multiple areas at once, particularly the G-spot.

While sucking the clitoris, insert two lubed-up fingers into the vagina. (Need to stock up? These are the best lubes, if you ask us.)

5. Ask questions

As mentioned earlier, feedback is key! While the idea of asking questions during oral might not seem sexy at first, it can really spice things up to have your lover tell you exactly what they want you to do.

Everyone has different preferences, too; some people like oral sex to be wet and sloppy, and other people find lots of saliva a bit of a turn-off. Some will be keen to try analingus, while others will wonder if you can make them squirt. Check in with your partner before and during the session to make sure you’re tailoring everything to suit them.

How to give oral sex to a penis

Want to leave your lover breathless with your fellatio skills? These expert tips oughta do it…

1. Start with your hands

Testicles can be a key erogenous zone for some (not all!) people, so try stroking and gently pulling on them to arouse your partner before you reach for the penis. You can also build some sexy tension by kissing the balls, shaft or perineum.

2. Keep it wet

Take the whole penis into your mouth, coating it in saliva, and keep it wet throughout. Pause to spit on it when you need to.

"There's no such thing as too much spit!" says a Lovehoney team member. "If you're not very good at getting enough saliva on the go, use a flavoured lube. Blow jobs feel best with plenty of lubrication - they should be wet, messy, passionate, and loud." Flavoured lubricant will help you to salivate, too: a double win!

3. Focus on the head

Use the tip of your tongue to firmly massage the underside of the penis, just below where the frenulum is. This area can be particularly sensitive. Use your hands to caress the shaft and balls while you use your mouth to kiss and suck the head.

Try slipping your lips over the head and gently holding it in your mouth, making sure it stays wet, while your tongue applies pressure underneath.

Got a gag reflex, or dealing with a particularly sizable penis?

4. Try novel sensations

You can do a lot with your hands and mouth, but sex toys bring a whole new dimension to giving a blowjob. A penis stroker (one that’s open-ended so you can still lick the head) can create breathtaking new sensations, and a cock ring can help your lover to get harder and last longer. (Want to try toys with your partner, but don’t know how to bring it up? Get our tips on how to use sex toys with your lover.)

As well as toys, there are creative ways to use your mouth that some people will love. One member of staff at Lovehoney likes their partner to, "create suction and gently scrape her teeth across the sensitive head at the right moment”. Another is into their lover, “blowing on the wet head between strokes and taking the penis in their mouth”. Ask your partner what they’d like to try, especially before you get your teeth involved.

5. Get consent before you slip in a finger

Experienced anal players can take things up a notch by bringing in prostate massagers or anal beads; these toys are designed to add internal pressure and stimulation in all the right places.

Oral sex positions to up your game

We’ve picked out some of the best sex positions to help bring oral into your sex life in playful new ways. Try ‘em all to find new favourites!

This boosts blood flow to the area and increases sensitivity, as well as adding a touch of kink!