Pretzel Sex Position: Here's how it's done

Why you’ll want to try the Pretzel

Plenty of us are fans of the Doggy Style sex position: it’s got deep penetration, plus powerful thrusting. What we love about the Pretzel is that it blends these benefits with the sensual, face-to-face intimacy of the classic Missionary position.

It turns out that a spot of eye contact goes a long way. Studies have found that, “When two people gaze into each other’s eyes for a few minutes, they can develop deeper trust, greater intimacy and mutual attraction.”

Why? Because: sexy science! Psychology Today says, “prolonged eye contact spurs the nervous system to release oxytocin and phenylethylamine. The former is a hormone, sometimes called the ‘cuddle hormone.’ It's associated with long-term bonding and attachment.

“The latter, sometimes called the ‘love chemical’, is a neurotransmitter involved in feelings of interpersonal attraction.” So, if you’re looking for loved-up vibes in the bedroom, the Pretzel could be the move you need to try.

Plus: if there’s a height difference between you and your partner, the fact that the giver is kneeling while the receiver is lying down makes everything much easier. And, while it’s great for heterosexual partners enjoying penis-in-vagina sex, the Pretzel is very versatile: adapt it by using a strap-on, scissoring with a sex toy between you, pegging, or having anal sex.

How to do the Pretzel sex position

First of all, make sure you’ve got lube to hand. If you’re looking to spice up your sex life, lube is the first thing we recommend adding to your bedside drawer collection! It creates an effortless slip-and-slide that makes penetration feel extra-sensual. Check out our best lube guide to find one you like the sound of.

The receiver

Lie on your back with your knees bent. Tip your knees over to one side, so they’re resting on the bed with your legs stacked on top of each other. Grab a cushion for your neck if that’s more comfortable.

The giver

Kneel beside your partner and lift their top leg so that you can slide under it and straddle their bottom leg. Let them wrap their top leg around your hips, thigh, or waist, depending on what’s comfortable. Now their pelvis is right up next to yours, and you can slide your penis (or strap-on) into their anus or vulva.

Once you’re both in position, the bottom partner can grab the top’s hand or thigh – and draw them in close with their legs.

Tips for enhancing the Pretzel

The Pretzel sex position can be jazzed up, dialled down and accessorised to suit what you’re into. But first, let’s start with how to tailor foreplay to really make the most of the Pretzel.

Why make time for foreplay? Pausing to relax and slowly turn each other on before sex can:

• Increase your chances of orgasm
• Help you to play for longer before you climax
• Lower inhibitions, which leads to more open and playful sex
• Build intimacy to your partner; this closeness can last beyond play and extend into your day-to-day lives, too

Sounds pretty good to us! So, before you get into position, warm each other’s bodies up by coating each other in flavoured massage oil. It covers your skin in a gorgeous, lickable gloss — so you can use your mouth as well as your hands to slowly massage each other. Kneel facing one another and take it in turns to drizzle each other’s chests with oil. Then take your time rubbing it in and licking it off.

Here’s another idea; get your blood pumping and your hearts racing, but not enough to orgasm… yet. Health experts believe that bringing yourself or your partner to the brink of climax before backing off can lead to an extra-intense O-moment once you finally orgasm.

Oral sex is always a good way to get each other aroused. So, set a timer for 30 seconds each and coat your partner’s penis or vulva in your favourite flavoured lube. Then lick, suck and tease them until your time’s up, and swap roles. Try trading favours back and forth for a few minutes, and see just how much you can turn each other on without climaxing.

Once you’re ready to move onto the Pretzel itself, there are lots of ways to adapt it — and to up the ante:

Take it slow

Much like the Reverse Cowgirl position, the Pretzel works even better when you embrace a slower, sensual grind rather than pacy thrusting. Building intensity through deep, steady strokes — all while holding eye contact with your partner — will get your pulse racing while boosting intimacy.

Explore nipple play

Did you know that playing with your nipples sparks activity in the same area of the brain that lights up when you masturbate? If you get really turned on with nipple stimulation, wearing nipple suckers or a nipple and clitoral chain while you’re grinding on each other is sure to amp up the pleasure.

Bring the vibes

Grab a finger sleeve or a finger vibe each, and use them to massage each other’s erogenous zones as you play. Adding texture or vibration helps make your touch even more tantalising, and stimulating multiple erogenous zones at once could lead to blended orgasms. Massage your partner’s clitoris, nipples or just delicately trace their curves to get their nerve endings tingling.

Try scissoring

You might both have vulvas, but that doesn’t mean you’re always up for strap-on play. With the Pretzel, you can also grind together without penetration. Perfect for dual clitoral stimulation! Doesn’t have to be a dry hump though; a little slick of lube on each of you will make this move feel wet and wicked. And if you’re not wild about simply rubbing your vulvas together, this classic sex position for gay women can be enhanced by putting a bullet vibe or double-ended dildo between you.

Anal play

The Pretzel tilts the hips upward and gives the top partner an amazing view of the bottom’s… bottom! If you’re both on board, use this position for anal sex with plenty of intimacy. If you’re choosing vaginal sex but you’re still curious about anal play, the top can finger their lover’s anus or slip in a butt plug (with plenty of lube) while sensually grinding away.

This move can also work well for pegging – or getting that “full up feeling” using a double penetration strap-on. (We’ve got lots of tips for using a strap-on, if you need them.) But if you’re the giving partner, why should you miss out on all the action? Put your own butt plug in so that when you’re grinding on your partner, the plug will gently massage your internal nerve endings.

Read up for more inspo

Our guide to sex toys for beginners breaks down what’s out there and what each toy can offer your sex life.

It can also be helpful to get into position on a bed next to a wall, if possible, so you can lean back and place a hand against it if you feel a bit wobbly.

Does the Pretzel work with bondage?

Absolutely. Having one partner straddling and sitting up over the other naturally creates a subtle sub/Dom dynamic — which opens up the possibility for BDSM play. As long as you’re both excited to try this, of course. Chat about bondage together beforehand to make sure you’re both into it and know each other’s limits.

Binding the receiving partner’s wrists with bondage rope or handcuffs is a fun and simple way to give the Pretzel a BDSM edge. (Not sure about knots? Try our guide to shibari: the art of Japanese rope bondage.)

Dirty talk can add to the fun, too; if you’re both keen to slip into sub and Dom roles, the penetrating partner can verbally take control, telling the receiving partner exactly what they’re going to do to them before they do it.

Ready to try the Pretzel?

Great angles for deep penetration? Check. Slow, intense, intimacy-boosting sex? Check. A fun name that won’t shock anyone, so you can casually discuss how much you love it in public with your partner? Another check!

It might not be well known, but we reckon the Pretzel is one of the top positions out there for bringing you and your partner closer together, while giving you both one hell of a ride.