Reverse Cowgirl: How to Ride Like a Pro

Why you’ll want to try the Reverse Cowgirl

The Reverse Cowgirl is a position that pretty much everyone’s heard of. So why is it so popular?

First of all: let’s talk about control. The rider can choose the depth, angle and speed of penetration. So, if you’re not usually the one in charge, Reverse Cowgirl could be the perfect way to switch up your roles. Next: the unique angle. For rider's with a vulva, this position encourages the penis (or strap-on) to hit different internal vaginal nerve endings to Missionary, with much deeper penetration, too.

“Many women don’t reach orgasm through penetration alone,” says sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight. “Targeting the G-spot through penetration while also stimulating the clitoris is much more likely to take you all the way to climax. That’s why positions like Reverse Cowgirl or Doggy Style are so popular – there’s plenty of room for vulva owners to use a sex toy or their hands to caress their clitoris during sex.

Plus, if you get self-conscious on top, the Reverse Cowgirl can feel less intense than face-to-face positions. You’ll get plenty of confidence-boosting compliments in this position too, because your partner will have an amazing view of you from behind!

Speaking of which: Reverse Cowgirl is a top choice for fans of anal sex or pegging, too. It’s easy to slide into position and enjoy the full length of your partner (or their strap-on) in your rear end. Or you can stick to vaginal sex while your partner plays with your behind.

Expert advice: Consider other positions (like the Pretzel) if the receiver is new to anal sex. Being on top puts stress on the thigh and butt muscles – which can cause your sphincter to tense rather than relax and open up for play.

How to do the Reverse Cowgirl sex position

As your base, you’ll either need a bed or a large comfy chair. If you opt for a chair, make sure it’s big enough for one person to sit on while someone else straddles them. The straddling partner, or rider, should have room to brace their knees or feet against the chair too.

Now, let’s say you’re taking the role of rider and that you’re using a chair:

1. Ask your partner to sit in the chair with their knees comfortably together and their feet planted on the floor in front of them.
2. Coat the penis or strap-on in a generous slick of lube. You can never have too much lube, so add some to your vulva or anus too.
3. Straddle the seated partner’s lap, with your back to them. Then either kneel or squat on the chair with your knees or feet either side of their lap.
4. Slide yourself down onto your partner’s penis or strap-on. To help with balance, lean forward so you can hold onto their knees.
5. Now, how you ride your partner is up to you: you choose the speed, depth and angle of penetration.
6. If you get tired, or want your lover to caress your nipples as you play, lean back onto your partner’s chest as you grind.

“Be careful when riding the receiving partner’s penis in this position,” says Annabelle, “because there’s the chance of a penile fracture if the penis slips out and is squashed during thrusting. And nothing kills the mood quite like a trip to A&E!” Take things slow at first; try a sensual grind and build the pace when you’re comfortable.

Tips for enhancing the Reverse Cowgirl

These techniques will bring a little something extra to the position – it’s not our first rodeo!

Focus on foreplay

We’re all for foreplay! It helps to build suspense and makes sure you both have time to relax and get fully aroused. When you do finally climax, it’ll feel all the sweeter for a little build-up.

Get your partner’s pulse racing by getting into position and sensually rubbing your bottom on their penis and balls; if they have a vulva, simply grind on their lap instead. Or, once your partner’s seated, why not light a massage candle and drizzle their chest and legs with warm massage oil? Take your time sensually smoothing it into their skin, but don’t touch their penis or vulva until you’re ready to climb on top.

Give them the full show

Start in Reverse Cowgirl then, when you’re ready, switch (carefully!) to the regular face-to-face Cowgirl position. This gives your partner the chance to admire your body from all sides, as well as varying the penetration angles and sensations for you both.

Thrills? They’re multiplyin’

Hitting more than one erogenous zone at once helps to improve the chance of orgasm, and intensifies them when they do happen… so, let’s do it!

If you or your partner has a vulva, bring in clitoral stimulation: massage tingling lube onto the clitoris, or coat a clitoral vibrator with it for extra-sparkly sensations. New to toys? Check out our advice on sex toys for beginners for guidance on what toys are out there and how to use them.

This works for both partners: you can each hold a vibe against yourself, or the partner in the lower position can sit up, reach around and stimulate the riding partner’s clitoris.

If you or your partner has a penis, switch it up by using a vibe or tingling lube to tease the balls instead.

Dress to impress

Show off your curves in easy-access lingerie like a crotchless body or body stocking. These are perfect for flattering and celebrating your shape and allow your partner effortlessly easy access too; no tugging off knickers and fiddling with bra hooks over here!

For those with a vulva, we also recommend adding a jewelled butt plug for that extra bit of naughty glamour. If anal sex is your thing, it’ll feel incredible for you and look incredible for your partner as you ride their penis or strap-on. Just remember to be generous with the anal lube; everything feels better when it’s wetter.

Tips for simplifying the Reverse Cowgirl

Make this move easier by placing your feet on the ground either side of the chair to ride your partner, rather than squatting. This takes balancing out of the equation, so you can focus on enjoying the moment.

If your knees or leg muscles need some extra support, place the chair in a doorway. That way, you can hold onto the door frame and use it to pull yourself up as you rise out of each squat.

Does the Reverse Cowgirl work with bondage?

Yes! If you’re a BDSM fan, or you fancy trying out bondage for the first time, you can definitely kink up the Reverse Cowgirl.

But BDSM is only fun if everyone’s into it — so make sure you get enthusiastic consent first. Chat about your boundaries and be sure to agree a safe word or stop action that can be used at any time.

For a little restraint play, try collar-to-wrist cuffs or wrist to thigh restraints. They’ll comfortably lock the riding partner into position, giving the sense of control back to the partner they’re riding. We recommend using a bed rather than a chair as a base here, so there’s more space and less need to focus on balance.

To add to the feeling of domination, try wearing nipples and clit clamps as the rider. The partner you’re riding can take control of the chain linking the clamps, and tease you with gentle tugs as you grind on top of them. If you don’t have a clitoris, just using nipple clamps works just as well.

Love the full-up feeling of butt plugs? Double penetration with a strap-on could be just the thing to take the Reverse Cowgirl to the next level for you. There are great double-penetration options for partners without penises, too.

Ready to try the Reverse Cowgirl?

As long as you can embrace the slow grind and don’t feel the need for speed, we reckon there’s a good chance you’ll want to saddle up and enjoy the Reverse Cowgirl on the regular. Particularly because it’s fun for all genders, and there are so many ways to tailor it to target you and your partner’s favourite erogenous zones. So, make this move your own, and give it a go!