What Does Anal Feel Like? From the People Who’ve Tried It

TL;DR?

We’re about to get into all the juicy details but, if you’re short on time, here are the key takeaways:

• For many people, anal sex gives you a feeling of “fullness” or even stretching. This can be intensely pleasurable in its own right – but also because it puts pressure on the male P-spot or vaginal walls.
• As the giver, you might enjoy the extra tightness. Or you might find that uncomfortable – everyone’s different.
• Some people enjoy the vulnerability and intimacy. Penetrative sex is always intimate – but the extra admin of anal sex can intensify that. For others, it’s all about the thrill of doing something “taboo” or reversing the gender roles in a hetero couple.
• It’s possible to orgasm from anal sex – even if you don’t have a prostate. Some people find anal orgasms more intense or longer-lasting.
• You probably need more lube than you think. Anal lube is thicker and long-lasting, but you might still need to reapply.
• You need to prep your body for anal sex. To find out what you like and prepare your bum for penetrative sex, you’ll need to explore smaller anal toys first. Try a butt plug or a slim set of anal beads.
• Two thirds of people enjoy anal sex more over time. So don’t be disheartened if you don’t love it from day one – but only keep trying if you want to.

Are anal orgasms real?

Yup. Whether you’ve got a vulva or a prostate, you can experience anal orgasms.

People assigned male at birth have a prostate (aka the P-spot or male G-spot). It’s a small gland between the bladder and the rectum, surrounded by nerve endings. P-spot orgasms are often described as less intense than ejaculatory orgasms but longer-lasting, in a series of waves. What’s more: many people say they’re able to have multiple prostate orgasms. Errr, yes please!

To have a prostate orgasm, you’ll need to stimulate your P-spot repeatedly. Prostate massagers are great for this – check out these tips for using one. Everyone’s different and, with practice, you’ll work out the right angle, speed and pressure for you.

What if you don’t have a prostate? Well, hot off the press this year, a study found that almost 20% of cisgender women could orgasm through receiving anal sex, without any other stimulation. An orgasm just through bum penetration? Move over, G-spot: this is probably thanks to the A-spot.

The A-spot’s located about 5 or 6 inches inside the vagina, a few inches deeper on the vaginal wall than the G-spot (though it’s up for debate whether all women have an A-spot). During anal penetration, the A-spot can be indirectly stimulated, making you very wet, very fast.

The sensation may be more sensitive than pleasurable for some people – and there’s really not enough research to show whether all AFAB people have an A-spot or whether stimulating it will lead to an orgasm. Either way, a US study found that over 35% of women found stimulation inside the anus to be pleasurable.

So, even if you don’t have an anal orgasm the first – or any – time you have anal sex, you might still find bum play to be erotic and pleasurable.

What does anal sex feel like to receive?

First up: anal sex shouldn’t hurt. If it does, you need to slow down and add more lube. Secondly: you might find anal sex uncomfortable the first time (or the first few tries!). Persevere if you want to; over two-thirds of people find anal more pleasurable over time.

However, not everyone will enjoy receiving anal sex, whether it’s your first or fifth attempt – if it’s not for you, that’s absolutely fine.

To give you an idea of what sort of pleasure you might discover, we reached out to people on the Lovehoney Forum to find out how it feels to be on the receiving end of anal sex. Here’s what they said…

If you’ve got a prostate

Each quote you’re about to read is from a real person on the Lovehoney Forum. Check out the full thread on anal sex here.

“It feels amazing, different and strange”

Adding something new to your sexual repertoire can feel a bit strange. Provided you’re not uncomfortable or in pain, focusing on what feels good can help you relax and find pleasure from anal sex.

“I can have multiple smaller orgasms with the P-spot, similar to waves, before reaching an ultimate final orgasm”

If you have a prostate, you may be able to achieve a prostate orgasm – or multiple orgasms! These are sometimes felt across the whole body. One Lovehoney reader described the feeling as, “highly pleasurable sensations that radiate from my anus to other areas of my body.”

“It’s a deep pressure which enhances any penis play and makes my orgasms unavoidable”

One thing many agree on is that receiving anal sex can feel like you need a poo. It’s not necessarily an unpleasant feeling (some like the pressure), but it can be unnerving! Don’t worry, if you’ve been to the toilet at least an hour before, you shouldn’t actually poo yourself during sex (although you might see some traces of faeces).

“It feels like a bit of a dark secret – and that’s how I like it”

Some people find anal play kinky and thrilling. Perhaps it’s the taboo nature of anal sex or the gender role reversal that comes with activities like pegging. Enjoying pegging isn’t something to be ashamed of or something to hide – consider yourself lucky to have found another way to feel pleasure!

If you’ve got a vulva

Plenty of women and people with vulvas enjoy anal sex – it’s not all about prostate play!

“Anal is that perfect deep stretch that doesn’t compare to anything else”

Everyone’s got an anus, so it’s no surprise that people of all genders who’ve had anal sex describe a stretched feeling. Whether it compares to anything else is up to you…

Try different sensations to discover what feels pleasurable. A vibrating butt plug, thrusting a well-lubed dildo in and out, anal stretching with lubricated plugs – or ask your partner if they’d like to wear a strap-on. Take your pick.

“The feeling of getting ‘filled up’ in both holes is both naughty and earth-shaking”

Many people (with or without a prostate) report that touching more than one hot spot at a time feels amazing. Clitoral and G-spot pleasure? Oh yes! Prostate and penile stimulation? Sign us up! Simultaneous G-spot, clitoral, and anal sensations? Yes, yes, yes – try a double penetration strap-on.

Experiment with what feels good and the combinations of touch that get you going.

“I found vaginal penetration could hurt while anal was comfortable and easy

For some, vaginal sex isn’t possible or desirable. It’s completely fine to have sex while on your period, though not everyone’s keen. Anal sex offers another form of penetration. It’s best to avoid having anal if you have a UTI because the bacteria that causes the infection can be passed between partners.

What does anal sex feel like to give?

It’s common for people who’ve given anal sex to describe it as “tight”. This is because the anus is a smaller hole than the vagina (think about what biology intended to be pushed out of both). Some people find the physical resistance of the anus arousing while others find it too tight.

The anus isn’t self-lubricating, so as the giver, go slowly and continue applying lube to your partner, whether you’re inserting a penis, a finger or two – or a strap-on.

If you’ve got a penis

“It feels amazing; tight and deep”

You’ve likely heard that penetrating a bumhole will feel tight around your penis. One reader described anal sex as feeling “like masturbating with a tightly squeezed thumb and forefinger only.” For some, this can feel “amazing”.

“Messy, uncomfortable, and she was so tight. My biggest fantasy was right in front of me and I couldn’t enjoy it”

If you’re used to vaginal or oral sex (both self-lubricating parts of the body), you might find anal sex too tight. The anal passage is narrow and takes time to expand, only after the anal sphincter is relaxed. And it’s not self-lubricating.

The key to anal sex that feels good is using lots of lube, going slowly and communicating throughout.

“It’s quite a dominant act, so to be that vulnerable and trusting is also something which connects us as a couple”

You don’t need to be a “Dom” when having anal with your partner, but you can incorporate power dynamics into your sex life. Make sure you talk this through with your partner before sex and be sure to have a safeword so you can both stop when you want.

If you’re using a strap-on

“Our roles are completely reversed now”

Pegging a partner with a strap-on can feel like a reversal of roles, which can be pretty erotic in its own right. People who’ve tried anal sex with a strap-on say going from being the penetrated partner to the one penetrating is a confidence boost and a real turn-on.

“The power dynamic shifts”

It’s an outdated belief that men are more dominant in heterosexual relationships. However, pegging a partner with a strap-on can be a part of BDSM play. You could also experiment with consensual restraint or more submissive positions for anal sex, such as doggy style.

“I get so wet wearing a strap-on”

Whether you’re into the power shift or the visuals of penetrating your partner up the bum with a strap-on, you might find it turns you on more than you expect!

Here’s how to prepare for anal

When it comes to incredible (and safe) anal sex, prep is everything. You don’t need loads of equipment; just a fibre-rich diet, regular loo habits, and some warm water and soap. Our guide to having anal sex will have you ready for backdoor fun in no time. Well, not much time.

Go to the loo at least an hour before receiving any form of anal play

Having a poo about an hour before anal sex will clear the pipes. Rest assured that faeces doesn’t sit in your rectum, so there won’t be any big accidents if you’re regular, but there may be some traces of poo left behind. Part of the preparation for anal is getting comfortable with the idea that backdoor play can be messy!

Keep clean – that goes for givers and receivers

To prep for anal, you don’t need to use a douche; just soap and water is enough. You should also clean your bum after anal sex.

If you’re the penetrator, you should also give yourself a clean after anal sex. (And beforehand; this is just good sex practice.)

Remember to clean any toy you use in sex before and after, ideally using a specifically formulated sex toy cleaner.

Play solo first

Receiving anal sex can feel uncomfortable. To get used to the sensation, experiment alone before introducing it into partnered sex. Slipping in a well-lubed finger during masturbation can feel really good. For something different, try using butt plugs or anal beads – just remember to use lube. (Are we sounding like a broken record, yet?)

Try anal masturbation or rimming with your partner

When you’re ready to try anal play with a partner, consider mutual masturbation and showing them what feels good in your bum. You could then invite them to apply lube and slide their finger inside you. Rimming (licking and teasing the anal opening with the tongue and mouth) can also be super pleasurable.

If you’re new to anal play, reduce the likelihood of pain by getting into a position that allows the receiver to control the depth and pace. Anal penetration positions in which the receiver is on top are, surprisingly, not ideal. They’re hard work on the legs and thighs which can tighten the sphincter muscles. Instead, try spooning. Both lying on your side, anal entry can be accompanied by an intimate cuddle.