Pregnancy and parenthood can be a whirlwind of change, including shifts in sexual desire. You might feel so physically drained during your first trimester that sex goes completely off the table. Don’t worry, you’ll get your mojo back!

Campaigner, writer, and broadcaster, Anna Whitehouse (aka Mother Pukka) has teamed up with leading sexual wellness experts at Lovehoney to pull back the covers on intimacy and libido for new and expecting parents.

The Mama Sutra is your guide to sex during this hugely transitional period, with insights from Sarah Mulindwa, a sexual health nurse, and Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationship expert. Discover the highlights below and download The Mama Sutra to read in full.

Pregnancy

“When I got pregnant for the first time, my interest in sex completely dropped off,” says Nell, one of the parents who shared their story with us for The Mama Sutra. “[My husband] was patient and supportive, but we only had sex three times in nearly ten months.”

Like Nell, many people find their libido suffers during pregnancy, particularly the first trimester. During this period, your levels of hCG, oestrogen, and progesterone rise very quickly, which can have a big impact on your wellbeing. If you're feeling nauseous, tender, or tired, it's likely this will impact your sex drive too.

Nell didn’t lose her libido forever, though. During her second pregnancy, she found herself craving sex all the time. “Pregnancy is unpredictable; no two experiences are the same,” she says.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we don’t talk about this enough.”

Nell did find ways to appreciate different kinds of intimacy and feel connected to her husband – even when her libido practically vanished. Find out how she did it when you read Nell's full story in The Mama Sutra.

Postpartum

It’s not unusual for new parents to have less sex, whether it’s down to hormones, body image issues, or simply being too tired.

If that sounds like you, you’re certainly not alone. Our research found that 83% of women experience changes in sexual function postpartum.

If you've just had a baby, it's likely your life has changed overnight. In time, you'll find your rhythm in your new life, which will make it all the easier to reconnect with your desire and your partner.

"Intimacy doesn't have to mean diving straight back into the deep end," Anna Whitehouse from Mother Pukka reminds us. "A kiss, a lingering touch, the simple act of holding hands again – the things matter."

It's all about embracing the person you’re becoming, rather than chasing who you were before. That might mean reimagining what intimacy looks like for you and your partner – whether you experiment more with foreplay or give each other a foot rub at the end of a long day.

If and when you do feel like sex, there are a few ways you can make the most of it and ensure you’re both having a good time. For example, staying hydrated, taking omega 3, and using a good quality lubricant can help with vaginal dryness – making the whole experience smoother and more pleasurable.

Find more tips for postpartum sex, including the best sex positions for reconnecting with your partner, in The Mama Sutra.

Parenthood

No matter how much you adore the newest member of your family, the work of raising a child can still feel never-ending. Even if you do have time for sex – who has the energy?!

“I poured every ounce of love I had into being a mother, and somewhere along the way, I forgot that I was a woman too,” says Anna, a 40 year old single mum.* In The Mama Sutra, Anna shares a moving story of becoming a young parent, losing her own mother, and gradually rebuilding her sense of self.

“Pregnancy may have changed my body, but time has changed my perspective,” she says. “I used to worry so much – about my weight, about whether I was desirable, about what others thought. Now, I’m unapologetically myself.”

*Note, this isn't Mother Pukka's Anna Whitehouse but another Anna! She's one of the brilliant mums who shared a personal story with us for The Mama Sutra.

As a parent, your body might not always feel entirely your own. "My boobs weren't just for show anymore," recalls Anna Whitehouse. "They were functional, occasionally rock hard, milk-producing entities."

This can make it difficult to imagine feeling desirable or wanting sex ever again. Anna Whitehouse continues, "I had to learn a whole new way of being in my own skin – and it wasn't easy."

But in our research, we found that just over half of parents are somewhat or very satisfied with their sex lives, showing there's hope for everyone. With time, communication, and trust, you can rediscover intimacy and pleasure, even as a parent. You deserve it just as much as anyone else!

All statistics referenced are from research conducted by Savanta & Lovehoney (2025)